Marcia’s Law – The Road Not Taken
“I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference”
By: Marcia Prichason
I wonder, sometimes, what might have happened if I had taken the other road. Would it have been less difficult, less challenging? What would it have been like if I had chosen to reject my son when he came out to me?
I can’t ponder too long because I am busy traveling the road I’m on. And, it’s a great road. Sure, there have been some rough spots. There may have even been times when I wished there hadn’t been a split in the road. But really, it wasn’t a difficult choice. I picked this course, and I’m invested in it. I’m determined to take it all the way to the end with all its twists, turns, chills, and thrills. I’m in it for the long haul.
The other road may look better to some as they stand there where the roads diverge and ponder which way to go. But the other direction involved a decision I was not about to make. It meant letting go of my child; there would be no turning back from that. An estimated “20 ? 40% of America’s homeless youth are LGBT? (www.americanprogress.org/issues/2010). And I wonder; how so many parents can let go of their children…
…Because I could not do that to the adorable baby people stopped in the store to admire. Nor could I let go of the child who, on an errant trip to the candy store walked hand in hand with his best buddy; his Grandma. Even during the anguish and torment of high school where I wanted to kill him on a daily basis, I could not let him go. And, yes, admittedly, I did the dance of joy every time he returned to college after a break; but I refused to let him go then either. I could not, would not go down that other road; especially when I learned he was gay.
I’m glad I stayed the course. It’s been very rewarding and challenging. Sure, when a cousin’s son married a perfect, beautiful woman, I was sad because I would never experience this with my own son. But, my joys and adventures and my love and acceptance of who he is totally outweigh my sense of loss.
For years he called us from a park in San Francisco where he picnicked with friends on Easter Sunday. We finally experienced our first “Hunky Jesus” contest. It seemed as if all of California turned out for this slightly irreverent, totally Bay Area afternoon in the park. Entire families, groups of friends, the LGBTQ community, local dignitaries, and anyone else who was up for a good time participated. It’s an annual event where a whole lot of partying culminates in selecting the “hunkiest Jesus.” I’m so glad I had my Easter bonnet on for the festivities.
Then there was the time we went to sleep in a tent in the Sierra Nevada Mountains while listening to the beating of African drums. It was his Commitment Ceremony, and it was also the weekend of a big “Rave.” We got caught up in the event: sleeping in a tent in the wilderness, wading through mountain streams, participating in community cooking. It was high adventure!
And of course, there’s the Pride parade. Every year, I march proudly with PFLAG. I’m there to affirm my decision to stand by my son, to ensure that one day his rights will be guaranteed under the law. I am moved to tears by the older men and women who reach out to thank me for being there. What can I say? How could I NOT be? For this is my road to travel.
Yes, there are other roads; other paths that people choose when they learn they have an LGBTQ son or daughter. But, this is my road:
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference
…And I’m just a mom who loves her son…
Category: The Qu